A Fortune Foretold: In Germany

Have you ever heard that the fortunes in the little Chinese sugar cookies are supposed to be read with the words “in bed” after the phrase?

“The first step to better times is to imagine them. (in bed)”

“It is much wiser to take advice than to give it. (in bed)”

“Your skill will accomplish what the force of many cannot. (in bed)”

It is amazing how easily that rolls off the tongue and how many instances when it just “works”. Always eliciting a chuckle, the cookie reveals when each person at the table reads theirs aloud.

Perhaps there could be a new revelation in the fortune cookie world? A line of phrases targeting us…the want-to-lose-weight-in-a-European-Country people! Of course, we would have to choose European-type desserts. What are those puffy pastry things called? Ah yes, profiteroles. We could call them, “La Fortune de Profiterole”. I can see it now. Every French restaurant in the U.S. would highlight our latest fad. The people would be fraught with anticipation!

“You were born with the skill to communicate with people easily. (in France)”

“Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life. (in Germany)”

We needn’t stop with the profiteroles. There would be a line of fortunes called “Mystical Madeline’s”, “Croissant au Fortune” or the naughtier version “Gauche Gateau”.

However, new ideas aren’t without flaw. Since my fellow American’s wouldn’t be “hip” to the new European groove das fortune, we would have to create a test market with the appropriate buzz generator. The Internet, social networking, and those fabulous twenty-something’s standing on the street corner handing out free samples. Their only instruction would be to keep their pretty mouth shut and we’re in business. AAhhh, aren’t they cute.

Surely this would start small and grow to an international phenomenon. We would have to be prepared for fame and fortune. Possibly, the Food Network producers would want to do an exposé. We might have our own weekly show and open a line of cheap but tasty goods.

As luck would eventually run out, there would be an E! True Hollywood story which is, as we all know, the first stop for B personality fame. Eventually, one of us would be broke mumbling to ourself(ves) in a crowded café in Montmartre quoting random French-American movies such as “French Kiss”.

“My ass is twitching. You people make my ass twitch.” Of course, you’d add “in France” to everything.

It’s going to be a hit, I just know it!


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